What do I mean by “And then…?” No, it’s not just a hilarious line from “Dude, Where’s My Car” but it’s a question we ALL think about, and it’s at that crossroad where I find myself today.
One of the first things my ex, Christian, ever told me regarding the porn industry is that “You don’t get any newer!” What exactly does that mean, and why should any porn chick care?! Because his words of caution are right! I hate it when he’s right! LOL.
Even his best friend at the time, Derrick Pierce, told me, being a little more straight forward upon me meeting him: “What’s your name again? Ah, you know what? I’ll try to remember it if you’re still around in six months. Late.” That might sound mean, but it wasn’t meant to be, it’s a fact! Most girls will be shot out or have left by that point.
Some girls come into this business knowing what they want to get out of it. They plan out “I’m only doing girl/girl, then I’ll do boy/girl, then anal, then IR, DP, gangbangs, etc.” I’m not saying this is how it should or shouldn’t be either, but it is a formula that was used for most contract stars. Why is it this way? Because they know that if you give it all at first, there’s nothing new to offer and most fans are chasing the next “It” girl.
I have been in PornoLand for 3 years 5 months and 26 days. No, I’m not counting it down like a prison sentence! Yes, I have seen when the new girl on set starts expressing how after performing in 20 scenes she’s a porn star, or the next Nikki Benz, Lisa Ann, Tory Lane, Jenna Haze, Jesse Jane…
Well, long term, I hope she’s right—I’ll teach her anal—but sadly, that’s not the case in almost 90% of girls. Those girls I mentioned are girls who were around when this industry truly had a classification of “Star” based on their beauty, love of sex, and/or pure skill level.
Honestly, that is the reason porn viewers/fans still request them today When you get into the world of adult entertainment and shoot that epic, monumental, first scene, you pushed a button on a stopwatch as well. After scene #1 you have done, and are in, porn! Am I saying that’s a bad thing? Of course not! But if you think you can go and work a normal 9-5 job after that you’ll find that it’s hard.
Why? Well first of all if your (hopeful) employer hasn’t asked what you did before (like you’ll really put adult talent!) or even recognized you, then, odds are a soon-to-be co-worker and/or client will. You could be fired for lying/omitting on your application.
Secondly, the money in porn can be really great. But when you get accustomed to fast money, that $10.75 an hour starts looking less and less like the step you’ll want to go back to. So most—not all—girls start doing escorting to continue making the fast money. By the way, I’m totally good with my girls, as well as guy friends, making money doing it! Do what you want to do! But, that’s just not an option for me. To each his own.
Unfortunately, I came into porn without a true plan in place and knowing absolutely NOTHING about adult, dancing, escorting, or even myself, sexually, really. I was bound to make some mistakes. Okay, some big ones—trusting the wrong people to be friends when they were really NOT, aka users; lending/spending money like it would always be there; not taking advice from “friends” who warned me correctly, but luckily, I only was dropped twice on my head as a child so I eventually figured it out! LOL. Joking. I was only dropped once!
My decision to enter into porn might have been the craziest thing I’ve ever done, especially with never even viewing a scene—I still haven’t. I’ve seen trailers and stills, but scenes? Not so much. I won’t watch myself either. Sorry, but I’m a girl, so: A) I have flaws and I don’t need to see them in motion LOL and B) I was there; I know what happened!
But now, about where I am today, “And then…?”
I have always said, “You’re either pretty or dirty. Only a rare few can be both, and however you classify me, I give it 110% at all times!”
I’ve grown as a performer by understanding more about my sexual likes/dislikes, acquiring/mastering my physical talents (deep throating, gaping, fisting, flexibility, etc.), but even more so just by watching directors, photographers, lighting crews, PAs, Pms and others.
Now I want to apply MY view from behind the camera.
My openness to experiment sexually, always being respectful, non-judgemental, and current abilities in the art of sexual perversions (fetishes) has helped me to know what turns people on. It turns me on figuring out what that “thing” is that will send someone to the point of no control. So, knowing this, leaves me asking, “Just what area of my likes do I want to share with you?”
Please note: I’m NOT saying I’m the best, or that I know it all, but I’ve had the honor of being talent for and/or worked beside those I feel are tops in this industry! And I will continue to do so. For now, I just think its time I show my side.
“And then…?”