I’m Apologizing Now for the hardness this Blog is going to reflect… as you can clearly tell by previous entries I write best on Emotion…

I’m writing from Anger… I just got off the phone with My Extremely Concerned Mother… She’s 55 yrs old, God Fearing, and Married only to My Father which they just Celebrated 30yrs together this past August… So her knowledge of porn, testing, & HIV is intermediate… and Judging by ”SOME” of my fellow performers… theirs might be less!!

Headlines Like- “Companies Stopping” “HIV+ Confirmed Condoms Only Choice” Gossiping… But Scared… How about Prepared?!!

When you make the decision to Join Porn most girls look at it like… WOW you’re going to pay me this Amazing rate to have sex with this Hot guy… Or the guys see it as OMG I’m gonna bang all these Hot Chicks and be the fucking Man!! Honestly, Those are Facts… But Why the Amazing Price Tags?! Because you’re taking off your clothes on Camera?! …Really… Really… Please tell me you’re NOT that Stupid… YOU ARE PUTTING YOUR HEALTH AT RISK!!

SEX… In a perfect world there would be No Sexually Transmitted Dieases (STDs)… We also would ALL be God Fearing, Law Bidding, and Sustaining until Marriage to fulfill Carnal desires…  NEWS FLASH… We Live In A Secular World… Driven by Money, Power, and Self-Fulfillment… Well again MOST (tap tap not it)

So, Sadly, Due to this FACT… EVERY Time ANYONE decides to Indulge in Carnal Desires they Run a Risk of catching an STD!!  But being in an Industry which Capitalizes on SEX… we not only Display our Sexuality for all the World, but our Preferences, our Behaviors, and with the technology advancements in Social Networks our Day to Day Living!!

So WHY in the world would we -being a Close Knit family of sorts- in this industry CARELESSLY decide to NOT ONLY begin Discussing this on a Public Forum but then with TOTAL Disregard -Attacking Each Other!!

We are NOT Children… I am 29 years old… I have been in this Exactly 3yrs October 15, 2007 was my first scene… I am a Bi Sexual Female (male preference) I Shared 2 1/2 years with a Man who does Transgender/Straight performing…He is extremely intelligent (UTSA Graduate) and when I would feel upset by someone attacking him due to his choices… he would assure me they were only Ignorant to the Facts!!

This most recent outbreak only sadly proves him correct…

If your mind says Bi-Sexual, Transgender, or Gay Men are the Only ones who carry or contract AIDs/HIV …I am Sorry you have A Lot of reading to do…

AIDS – http://www.aidshealth.org/about-hiv-aids/hiv-aids/?gclid=CKmjxryS1KQCFRBrgwodwwLEKg

http://www.avert.org/worldstats.htm

Yes, certain Sexual Preferences MAY be at higher Risks… But When I see posts where people are Casting Stones at SELECT Performers it SICKENS Me!! How Dare You!!

-LET HE WHO IS WITHOUT SIN CAST THE FIRST STONE- John 8:7

I would Rather Work with A TESTED Open Cross performer than some I KNOW plays around Off-Camera and Hides it… It’s YOUR Body YOU decide who YOU want to let inside it… RIGHTFULLY!! I AGREE!! But to Talk Shit when you go and Do what you Do!! Grow the Fuck UP!!

Fear of the Unknown brings out different sides in people normally its -Anger and Aggression- when it should be a hunger for Knowledge… I’m NOT Known to be a huge reader Lol but when it concerns my personal welfare I’ll click a link or grab a book… STOP THE HATE!!

When you get in this business I wish every Agency would have a Class for their NEW Girls… Discussing STDs (Common/Un-Common… Treatments… Long Term Effects) …Fuck even including Escorting, Websites, Etc… YES I’m Fucking Dreaming Thanks I Know…

Well just like I’m the Industry Named “Anal Queen” …I’m going to be the One-Click stop for your Knowledge on STDs ready…

Everything – http://www.cdc.gov/std/default.htm

We all experience moments in our lives that build us up and sadly even tear us down… whether it be Physically or Emotionally!!

Those experiences affect us enough to stop momentarily and stare at the person who appears in the Mirror… Remember- You see the Raw True Real you that no one else can… All the insecurities that every person has… NO ONE is Perfect…

Now staring what do you see first?! What thought that enters your mind?! Is it a Smile from a New Hope, a Frown from a broken heart or a loss of someone close to you… a crease *wrinkle* that wasn’t there the last time you looked… Dark circles due to the many things that keep most people awake at night… Stress!

Now after you’re done knit picking at the physical do you ever stop and say… am I happy with where I am… Who I am… *Hopefully you are!*

The Big One and MY Personal Ghost “what’s next?!” …Once you have decided on your objective do you attack it with Passion or let another day go by believing in the “there’s always tomorrow”

We all grow everyday by… learning something new, remembering a moment from the past that changes our days course, or cross paths with a new amazing person who uplifts you to see yourself as more than what you think you are!!

I pride myself in sharing a Smile, a Joke or Jest, even a simple compliment with all the people in my path, but even more so the people I care deeply about!! Because even at my worst moments *Stress, Heartache, Confusion* if I can send a message to someone else to put a Smile on their face it lets me know that one will return to mine!!

I am very giving with all of Me to help people I care about… maybe its my belief that every person has Good in them, or that they would do the same for me… I have sadly More often than Not found it to be untrue… *Yes, I have SUCKER written in BIG ASS Letters on my forehead*

Or My Overwhelming Belief that LOVE conquers ALL!! I’m Blaming it partly on Disney really!! *Lol*  I still believe in the  ”And They Lived Happily Ever After…”  So for every painful moment the heart endures from a Breakup… I try to remember a moment when it wasn’t the way it is, they weren’t someone who wanted to see your tears or hurt… But that is one less obstacle that is remains in the Pursuit of finding the One person… who wants to see your smile as much as you do theirs!! And is willing to put in the work it takes to do it!!

I hope you can teach yourself to look in the Mirror every morning & find a memory to make you smile, a song to get you singing *Yea My Voice Sucks I Still Do It* Lol, and The Knowledge that Anything is Possible… when you put in the work for it!! Success & Fame are achieved by those who made a goal and worked to obtain it!!